Sunday 28 April 2013

University:The birds, the bees and other crazy sex animals. (EXPLICIT)

Sex: If we aren't getting it, we are talking about it, surfing for it, shopping for it, or thinking about it. If we are getting it, we are still probably talking and thinking about it, worrying about if we are getting enough, and if what we are getting is good enough. I read an article on MSN this week that says if we are getting (or we think we are getting) more than the average amount or more than the people around us we are satisfied. Being at university I've been witness to some odd sexually related experiences, been a part of a few, and heard more stories than i can count about them. Sex seems to be something on everyone's mind, and i'm not just talking about men, the amount of Ann Summers parties ive been invited to over the term suggests just when men think that women just don't have a competitive sex drive with their own, we are turning this idea on it's head by the in fact possibly insulting notion that we aren't getting enough from our men or if we are that it isn't good enough to satisfy us with sales of vibrators, dildos and masturbation aiding lubricants flying off the shelves faster than ever. So what constitutes good sex?

The dominants of the world will tell you it's all about technique, whilst the romantics and the just plain lazy people telling you its about finding the right partner, and the atmosphere behind you. I have to say i think any two people can have good sex with enough effort put in on both sides, it's about listening to the other person and being patient and (preferably) not knackered, drunk or high.

In my opinion one of things that hinders great sex most of all is Porn. Yes it's all well and good when its just you and your hand but the standards for sex set by porn are less than desirable. I mean not being funny, but how many women actually look like those in porn? How many men have genitalia the size of new mexico? And how many women do you know that are able to orgasm 30 times and keep going without even a moments pause. Not many i shouldn't think. It's like sometimes we forget that we ourselves do not look or act like porn stars, so why are we expecting our partners to? On top of that scenarios in porn make it seem like you can invite a handy-man over to fix your sink and be boinking 30 seconds later when in reality the handy-man is probably going to be more concerned about the plumbing of your house. That's the thing about porn though, access to it over the last ten years has gotten exceedingly more and more easy, with most of the people i currently study with (particularly males) having learned most of what they know about sex, not from their parents giving them the talk about the birds and the bees, but from watching porn online.

It's a both terrifying, daunting and a little bit hilarious, but giving your kids 'the talk' really is crucial. There's always that one kid in class who thinks he's discovered like the coolest thing in the world and is running around telling everyone else about it often resulting in disbelief, especially from the girls, resulting in arguments such as: "What do you mean a baby comes out of there? You're a liar! It wouldn't fit!" and "You two hold hands! You must've had sex!" It's funny but even the smallest children are aware of sex in some way, and with the internet practically bombarding us with ads such as 'find slags to fuck in your city' and 'get a giant cock with just one blue pill.' much to our disgust we must arm the future generations with knowledge to help them achieve meaningful and healthy sexual experiences not a quick shag behind your local Maccies.

It's funny but it seems incredibly easy for both guys and girls to get sex nowadays, on a night clubbing pulling seems to be fairly simple and as long as you avoid lines such as 'Hey i want to stick it in you' or lines so cheesy they make you want to die such as 'If i could rearrange the alphabet i would put I and U together' if you find someone who is interested, odds are, sex is achievable in one to two hours (maybe less if you are lucky). University makes one night stands the social norm and people who attempt relationships in such a temporary lifestyle seem crazy. Sad truth, but there are so many blokes who i have heard using the line 'I'm at uni, i just wanna have a good time' as though a relationship is a dagger to the heart.

Here for your amusement, are some of the best copulation facts from the animal kingdom:

  • Muscovy ducks cant be raped! They have a special vaginal canal that twists so they cannot be raped.
  • A male honeybees penis gets destroyed after sex
  • The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this, the male uses his penis to DRILL A VAGINA into the female.
  • An elephants penis is so large it is used as an extra support, AKA a fifth leg.
  • An insect known as the water boatman can make loud noises with it's genitals
  • There is a species of lizard that is entirely female
  • An Argonaut is a type of octopus that has a detachable penis.
  • A species of spider breaks off its own penis to avoid being eaten by the female.


So what do you guys think about sex? Any funny stories to tell? Did your parents give you the talk? If not how did you learn?

Keep it real homies!

Atargatis over and out xx


Thursday 25 April 2013

Shut up and drive

 Drive: ive been thinking about it alot this week, what does it mean if you have it? Where does it come from? Have our generation lost it? And how can you get it if you want it but don't have it? It's highly amusing to me the amount of people who bitch about their current situation when they actually have the means to change it. Moaning you don't have money because you can't get a job? Do work experience! Volunteer! Do as much as you can to pump up your CV and stop sitting on the sofa bitching about how unfair the employment system is today. 

It's funny because in high school it is very clear looking back that the girls in class (Well most anyway) have much more motivation to do work than the males. You gotta wonder if its the fact that blokes dont develop the consequence part of their brain until around the age of 20-22 that they don't think: "Shit if i don't do this piece of work i'm gonna fail, not be able to get my GCSE's and not be able to get a good job" it's more along the lines of " If i don't do this piece of work right now i can play on World of Warcraft/FIFA/Watch Youtube videos all day." Suddenly the prospect of doing that piece of that work no longer looks like a stepping stone to something greater, but the shitty option against the million of probably pointless but more enjoyable tasks you could be undertaking. 

Now i'm not saying that guys are some lazy opposite to women, and that women are all motivated and hard working all the time because that would be a huge LIE. But it can be said that men are a heck of a lot more laid back about the future leading to a considerable lack in drive. The amount of men i know who are so laid back they are literally horizontal about allowing things to work out in their own way in their own time is startling. I have noticed that women are alot more organised and plan ahead. You've got to wonder if this roots back to the fact that cave women had to juggle a million things, kids, cooking, cleaning, keeping the caveman husband happy. Whereas cavemen were very single minded, could this be because worrying about a million things at once plus the future is going to lead to some woolly mammoth or saber toothed tiger biting your head off as you stop and contemplate what cave party to attend next week? It is as though just as women have better peripheral vision than men, men have better focus on whats in front of them and have a one track mind, meaning seeing potential complications in the future is diminished as the focus on one task, or even one day at a time.

Drive to succeed is also born, as many people will tell you, from a love of what you are doing. If you really want to be a successful writer, you will sit down and write. If you want to be an elite gymnast you will sacrifice and train, and none of this happens without motivation. A love of success and a passion for what you are doing helps. If you find yourself lacking motivation, perhaps the question shouldn't be how can i get motivated, but rather, why aren't i motivated about this in the first place? Some people just have it, that determination and drive that leads them to whatever they desire (within reason) but maybe drive is something we can learn through trial and error. In everyday life, we have to do things we don't want to do, the dishes, laundry, visiting awful relatives, but at the end of the day you can look at it two ways:

1) I can get this shit done and then forget about it as soon as possible, thus gaining the freedom to do what i choose sooner.
2) I can ignore the fact that i have shit to do and wait until the last possible second thus inducing a mini heart attack and causing the shit i have to do to be rushed and probably less than good quality, even though i get to do what i want to do in the short term.

I cant help but wonder if the reason our generation is seemingly so whiny and lack motivation is because we probably have the most distractions available to us than any generation that has gone before. I mean when my Nan was a kid the most entertaining thing she could think of to do with her afternoon was to knit or play 'Ball in a cup'. I mean hell compared to that i'd rather do work. It's the world as we know it today that can be blamed for the poor attitudes and drive in it's young people, you can't give your child a phone with access to the internet, Facebook, all their other phone owning friends and twitter and expect them to sit with it idle on the table doing their homework. Of course they are going to watch a video on Youtube of some knit-wit skateboarding down some steep stairs and ripping their nut sack open, that's just bloody human nature.

I suppose all in all it comes down to how much you want stuff and how immediate the result of your hard work is, i think we find it hard to comprehend how actions we execute now will affect us in 3 years, especially when we see others around us putting in no work and getting everything we are expected to work for. You know the guy i mean, the one who waltzes into the final exam having attended none of the classes, done none of the revision and waltzes right on out again with above 90% and a ticket to Cambridge university. Seriously how annoying is that guy?!?!?!?

 There comes a time when we must all grow up and realise nothing in this world comes free, even if it doesn't require money, effort will be the preferred payment. Being a young person today has so many more distractions than it has ever had before, but we need to all knuckle down and start looking to the future. I mean after all the fuss made by people that think they can run the country better than Maggie Thatcher, you would think that they would fear the future of politics even more. Honestly, who wants a PM that's going to blow off meetings with Korea to play Call of Duty?

What do you think about drive today? Is it the most important key to success or is there another ingredient to the recipe?
Atargatis, over and out xxx

Thursday 18 April 2013

University: Return of the boxes!

As the Easter holidays draw to a close i begin to re-pack my life back into the many boxes that journey between my home and University as i have done many times before. It is an interesting journey that of a university student, one filled with highs and lows and above all else life lessons. It appears every time i return from university it i bring back more than i went with, and not just material objects either, i'm talking about life experience. University isn't right for everyone, and at one time, i didn't think it was the right place for me, but as i have moved through the terms i have realised that the more independence university gives me the stronger and more able i become. It's a big decision to make, moving away from home and away from everyone and everywhere that you are familiar with, but if the fear of the unknown is whats stopping you, then put that to rest, because for all you know the unknown could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

It's true what they say about the university year, the first term, everybody has so much energy: going out partying and getting wasted every night, making the effort to join societies and sports teams, go to the gym, making it to lectures seem so easy. It's the 'second term slump' thats the bitch! When you come back after Christmas, the honeymoon period with your flatmates is over and everyone gets on each others nerves more, everybody has pretty much steam rollered through the money they had saved for the first term, the weather is usually crappy, exams seem to never end during the first few weeks of January and lectures at 9am seem less and less appealing as the weeks go by! It's hard to keep it going, especially when everybody is seemingly alot more settled and less up for going out every night. It's as interesting phenomenon, but not one that can't be beaten, for me i used this time to broaden my skill set, i started a blog, learned some new recipes and broadened my friendship group by reconnecting with some old friends from high-school that i hadn't been in touch with too much, but went to the same university as me! I also made a bigger effort with people back home, its easy to forget, but those people who choose not to go to university and rather stay home and work lose a whole set of friends as university goers disperse across the country.

The third term, the one which i am about to start, is a funny one, not filled with lectures, but rather exams that for me are few, and assignment deadlines. Also this term is only 4-5 weeks in length, which makes going back at all seem at times, pointless. I plan to make the best of this by making the most of the nice weather and trying to discover some outdoorsy stuff to do around the city, also it can't hurt to start on the reading list for next year, being prepared is never a bad thing.

So enough rambling from me about the layout of a year at Uni and here for your enjoyment are the Top ten life lessons i have learned while being at university.
1) Don't piss off the people who live above you, they can make your life a living hell!
2) Talking about a problem to someones face is always better than bitching about it.
3) Old friends can be the best!
4)Never drink and then try to use the stove
5) When buying heavy stuff for your flat (e.g toaster) go as a group so one person doesn't get lumbered carrying it!
6) Never put eggs in a carrier bag with heavy stuff!
7) Never mouth off to the security in halls (especially during a fire drill)
8)When on a night out, nobody gets left alone!
9)Always party like there's no tomorrow.
10) the only person who can make you really happy is you, so get out and do as much as you can!

What life lessons do you wish you could have passed on to yourself when you were younger? What did you learn by going to university? Drop a comment and let me know!
Atargatis, over and out! xxx

Sunday 14 April 2013

Fifty shades of 'what is this?'



So in this modern day we are no longer simply single or in a relationship, as E.L James suggests, there are not only 50 shades to people but also to the relationship dynamic these days. I mean even Facebook offers the 'open relationship' and 'its complicated' as a legitimate relationship status, is it any wonder we are all waking around asking the terrifying questions 'what is this?' And 'where is this going'? It seems crazy but in a fast paced world full of drunken one night stands and easy to come by sex is it becoming even more vital to protect yourself and establish the rules early on? 

But how early is too early? If you've been having feelings for someone for just a few weeks is it too soon to ask questions that can put so much pressure on an individual? On one hand you don't want it to be so soon that is scares the crap out of your potential partner and sends them running for the hills, but on the other you don't want to wait too long only to discover that significant other you've been pining for has been sleeping with every random drunken stranger they happen to stumble across.

How people feel about the definition of relationships today is dramatically different than it would have been 50 years ago with relationship types ranging from fully committed all the way down to fuck buddy. The way people feel about defining relationships varies hugely too, with some guys wanting to make it official after just one week of intense texting to men and women still happy with a casual set up after over a year. It's my opinion that a one month period is long enough to establish where things are going if anywhere but like I said, I've been with people that disagree with me on this amount of time and are ready to run for the door after any hint of a commitment being necessary.

It's a hard but very true fact that if your hearing the 'i'm not really looking for anything' or the 'i don't know what i want' lines then usually the furthest that relationship will go will be a casual one. It's a common problem that an individual believes that they are the exception to the rule, when in fact if someone doesn't want or isn't ready for a relationship it perhaps doesn't matter how perfect you seem for each other, it just wont work. The thing about relationships is if one of you is always doing most of the work, making most of the effort or sending the first text it usually won't work either. I mean if one person was supposed to make all the effort, we would all be perfectly content being single our whole lives. It's also easy to get too attached nowadays, with the growing number of categories for a relationship to fall into meaning that hurt is perhaps not more inevitable but far more likely. The thing is, communication with these issues is key, without establishing whats going on early, and having rules in place you can end up wasting large stretches of time either in denial, or deluded as to the true nature of what is going on in the head of the other person. It's easy to analyse and analyse, but until you've actually heard something from the horses mouth, nothing swimming around in your hormone ridden psyche should be taken as fact.

Has this ruined any true notion of romance for us now? With courting 50 years ago having an inevitable and clearly defined finish line and goal, does the wide variety of relationship types now ruin the journey of getting to know someone. On the contrary, i believe it makes it all the more exciting, and with less social stigma on being in a committed relationship and marriage, we know that when someone decides to make that commitment, it is what they truly want, and not what they assume they should do next.

It has also come to my attention that people put incredible amounts of pressure on themselves to ask these questions, when perhaps this leads to paranoia which can cause more problems than good. If someone is devouring your every thought and you are dropping the majority of your single life to spend pretty much all of your time with them be sure that you both understand that you have the freedom to be your own person and that time apart doesn't mean you aren't close. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you become one person, and as usual i give the old advice, don't drop your friends, where a guy may not always be there, friendship will.

So whats your favourite type of relationship? Or do you just prefer being single? How long is too long to wait to ask the important questions about defining a relationship in your opinion?
Drop me a comment!
Atargatis over and out! xxx


Wednesday 10 April 2013

7

So i was watching the horror film Seven the other night and it got me to thinking how much ideology is connected with this seemingly irrelevant number. According to creationists god created the world in seven days, because of this there are seven days in a week, so the number in religion seems to have some mystical quality. I then got to thinking about the seven deadly sins: Wrath, sloth, gluttony, lust, envy, vanity and pride. It's an interesting concept that perhaps the majority of evil in the world comes down to these simple seven behaviours or attitudes. I mean i would find it hard to think of a dictator in history that hasn't been greedy and overflowing with pride. It then begs the question that if we only have to watch these seven problem areas why are more and more people not listening to the bible, the very book that introduced this concept, in order to guarantee a full life and perhaps an even more satisfying afterlife? I heard this fantastic quote the other day and it went a little something like this:

"I'm a christian, and if i'm wrong and there is no afterlife, nothing is going to happen to me. But you? You're an atheist, and what if you're wrong?"

Now before any people with a serious faith start thinking i too share the same faith, i don't. I am an atheist, but i do respect all faiths and those people who choose to live their lives by the guidelines they include and I've been thinking recently that what if all the atheists in the world are wrong? What if we all soon find ourselves in one Dante's seven circles of hell? You don't have to be extremely religious to be a good person and live your life by the rules set down by said Bible even if you don't believe in God. 

Now another fantastic fact linked to the number seven is that we are connected to every person on the planet by seven people or less. Isn't it a wonderful notion that I am somehow connected by a friend of a friend of a friend to President Obama or even perhaps the crazy Lady Gaga? I can't believe how small the world must seem to the older generations who grew up without even a phone in their home, it also makes you think, if i'm connected to all these people i see on TV, how many weird and wonderful people am i connected to that i don't know exist. It is a wonderful idea that my future husband, or boss could be only a friend of a friend away.

7 is such a fantastic number, Seven ancient wonders of the world, which interestingly enough according to a documentary about what would happen if all human life suddenly disappeared from the earth, would be the last signs that we existed, standing approximately another 2000 years with no maintenance, the last of which to fall being the great pyramids. There are 7 continents on the earth, seven colours in the rainbow, seven basic musical notes, a ladybug commonly most commonly has seven spots, there are seven rows in the periodic table and finally the neutral value required to sustain life on earth is also... you guessed it...7!

Just a cutesy little post to get me back into the swing of things as it's been while since ive been busy being back home an' all! Anyone got any more fun facts about the number seven? 
Atargatis over and out xxx

Tuesday 2 April 2013

The black mirror of paranoia.

So its the first post I've done in nearly a week since coming home from university, ive been watching this fantastic series called 'Black mirror' which has really gotten me thinking about technology and the way it affects relationships. With sexting, online dating and long distance relationships all being enabled by technology what affect is this seemingly fantastic facility that is making the world smaller and smaller by the day really doing for our relationships?

Since the first steps in the development of the internet we all cling to today, we have been getting closer to those we love, with physical distance seeming smaller when they are simply an email, Facebook message or tweet away. It is an amazing thing, how many times i go into restaurants today and see a family with at least two members totally absorbed in their phones and neglecting actual conversation. It is also an interesting phenomenon in how relationships move 10 times faster than they would have 50 years ago. With not having to wait until the 'next date' to talk, we just text! So between physically seeing one another, we can gain more knowledge about the other person in a much shorter space of time, with conversations spanning several days that would of been spread over 4 or 5 dates spanning several weeks. 

So this all sounds great right? Well, it is, but it's like in an episode of black mirror where they can play back their memories. It means we can look back over conversations we have had and analyse which speaking as a female, is so often done too much. Plus we have the whole 'seen' phenomenon whereby we are notified when someone has 'seen' the message we have sent, this leads to a growing paranoia breeding questions such as 'Why hasn't he replied if he's seen my message?', 'Could he be talking to other girls instead of replying to me?', 'Did i say something wrong?'. Its a snowball of fears and doubts that are all started by this one little word 'Seen'. It's interesting as well the amount of anger it can breed, as if replying to Facebook messages is all people actually do in their lives. It's like with instant messaging we expect the replies to be actually that, 'instant'. For me i give up to 12 hours for a reply, and i am rarely disappointed,  after that, I'm assuming i'm being ignored. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if there were some online etiquette handbook to put all these fears to rest would it?

The internet sure is great though, i mean we can now also hear about everyone's relationships as if we were actually stood in the room in which they are screaming at each other from. It makes me laugh how people really do pour all their ins and outs onto Facebook, which can in the long run be somewhat more harmful to a relationship than good for them. It only takes a few minutes for a current girlfriend to surf a boyfriends Facebook wall and find statuses from only 6 months before saying about how 'in love' he and his ex were. It is of course fine as it is understandable that everyone has a past, but doesn't always leave YOU with the best feeling.

It is a minefield, it's like we have access to all this information now and all i want to do is scream 'PUT ME BACK IN THE DARK' sometimes! It can be far more self destructive looking through someones Facebook who you are currently dating only to find a stream of photos of him and like 50 different girls that have gone before you. They say you determine someones attractiveness within 7 seconds of meeting them, but how long does it take to write someone off after judging them on some online material? If truth be told, i tend not to Facebook friend people i'm seeing to prevent such upsets and questions in early days. The person i am in fact currently seeing and I have a rule that he won't read my blog. We both agree that what he thinks of my material shouldn't interfere with what we think of each other, and it works. I get to write what i want without worrying about what he thinks, and he doesn't have to read, and be possibly terrified by my opinions!

Anyway, a little food for thought people!
Do any of you have relationships rules for communication online? Anyone had a relationship ruined by online antics? Anyone experienced that paranoia over 'seen messages' not being replied to? Drop me a comment peoples!

Atargatis, Over and Out! xxx