Tuesday 30 July 2013

Raiders of the lost Childhood: Noughties Edition

So i'm sitting at my computer randomly trying to think up a topic for an exciting new post, when what do i see pop up on my Facebook profile... A friend request from a 9 year old. Yes that's right people... A 9 YEAR OLD. Not only do i not know this particular 9 year old but i'm sat there thinking to myself, when i was 9 my mum wouldn't let me chew gum, what the hell are parents doing leaving their kids unattended on Facebook these days. Now some of you may be thinking, 'god stop whining it's only Facebook' and yes, Facebook can be incredibly innocent. But the plain fact is, no one under the age of 13 should have Facebook and you are only one click away from a group that will start posting pictures of some dude with his cock stuck in a hoover on the internet these days. It's then that you start to wonder, how radically different are the childhoods of kids today, compared to only 10 years ago when i was just 9 years old.

One thing i notice today more than ever as i get older is kids in restaurants. I mean I've seen 4 year old's using iPads at the dinner table. When i was four you got a colouring picture and 10 broken crayons (never with a flesh colour by the way!), so i'm beginning to think to myself that the kids growing up nowadays are pretty lucky in that respect.

So kids nowadays are learning their ABC's from Apple technology and by the time they get to high school all the desks will probably come with touchscreens instead of paper and pens. Sounds pretty great right? Well yeah... Being born in the Noughties has some major perkage, but then again look at it this way. The childhoods of kids nowadays is also dramatically shortened. I mean i'm not being funny but has anyone been into Primark recently? They're selling bikinis and padded Bra's for kids who are barely old enough to be aloud to cross the street alone. We wonder why the amount of sex offenders has increased over the years. Could it be because of the sexualisation of our kids in which many are willing accomplices. I mean seeing little girls of no older than 7 wearing fake tan and nails and sporting t-shirts reading 'Future footballers wife' doesn't exactly give me hope for the future doctors and lawyers of this world. 

On lighter news the birth of Royal baby, Prince George of Cambridge has had the country buzzing over the past week. The funny thing is i keep wondering how old the little prince will be before he is graced with an iPad.... regardless one thing is for sure: That kid will certainly have an assortment of flesh coloured and unbroken crayons available at dinner!!!

What do you think about the reduction of the time in which kids can be kids nowadays? Is this new technology a powerful learning tool, or is it just a means to let kids see things they are way too young to see? Drop me a comment and let me know... i gotta get back to responding to the facebook request of a 9 year old!

Rant over people,
Atargatis, Over and out xxxx



Monday 29 July 2013

Peripheral vision,pretty little boxes and picket fences: The gender Divide

So being a bored student so far this summer, I've been doing what we students (supposedly) do best:  I've been thinking, asking the big questions and working the hamster that powers my brain via a super cute plastic wheel extra hard. The result for all you people out there who are kind enough to read my blog is the very post that you are glaring at right now. The focus of this post is about Men and Women and what makes us totally different. 

The amazing thing about Men and how their minds work is that they have these neat and quite pretty little boxes in which all their emotions, thoughts and feelings sit for each situation. When they are in the work box they aren't worrying about what to cook for dinner later that night or whether they've remembered to pick up the dry cleaning. They are purely focused on work (and possibly Googling cat memes) and that's about it. Sometimes i wonder if the increased peripheral vision of the fairer of the sexes means that our minds cannot only focus on one thing at once. It is said that women can multitask, but the reason we are so good at this is because we don't have all these pretty little boxes that neatly separate one aspect of life from another, we are at work, but we are also thinking about what we need to budget for with our wages, worrying about if we have enough toilet paper to get us through the week and thinking about what to wear for 'Girl's night out'. You could say this makes us less productive as we have all this crap floating around in our brains with no organisation but i think that it is less of a shit heap and more of an organised mess with a giant cable connecting each emotion or thought to the next. It could also be said this is why you can say something totally unrelated to what is stressing out a woman and suddenly be confronted with a very pissed off lady, not because you intended to be hurtful, but simply because of a chain reaction set off by the mention of something as simple as 'what are we having for tea'. It is safe to say we humans are complex creatures, filled with chemical reactions, hormones and pheromones that the majority of normal people on this planet just do not understand. However, we are not always as complex as it seems when it comes to base needs, as almost everyone can understand, when a persons mind is in the sex box or on the sex link in a chain your mind can't help but become stationary and very much stuck in the proverbial gutter.

That's the other funny thing about Men and women, the pretty little boxes that allow a man to be so organised in his thoughts and feelings actually inhibit the organisation of a little thing called life. That's the thing about boxes you see: its much harder to jump from box to box than it is to glide between connecting ideas as in a woman's mind so you find men that cannot get out of the 'Video game' box aren't really thinking about the future or planning for marriage and kids.

What is it about women that makes the majority of us hear wedding bells after only a year in a relationship. Most women will tell you, it's only natural to want to obtain that type of commitment from someone who you've devoted a year of your life to but i think its more than natural, i think it's nature itself. The biological clock is not a myth fellas, inside the minds of most women who want kids is the nagging question 'when will i get married?' followed by the inevitable 'how old do i want to be when i have kids'. Most men find this concept terrifying to even talk about like somehow just mentioning kids means you want to strap him down, straddle him and scream 'FERTILISE ME!'. In all honesty, isn't it best to get those talks out of the way early? Isn't it better to talk picket fences early than to end up 55 and picketing in protest about how you lost your chance to have a child?

So what is better? Boxes or chains? Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!

As Jims dad would say: 'Keep it real Homies',
Atargatis, over and out xxxx


Thursday 18 July 2013

The green eyed monster: Drive and destroy


So jealousy is a part of life. FACT. Through this most complicated and devastatingly unpredictable thing we call the human condition, it has happened to everyone. Best friend has a new car you wish you could afford. You find yourself coveting the kind of relationship your best friend has with her new boyfriend, her new £150 pair of UGG boots that seem to go with every outfit she owns. The thing about jealousy is, it causes one of two things. Drive or destruction, but can either ever be good?

There are two types of people, the type that see something they want and either act coldly towards the person that possesses it or destroy the object of that persons happiness. Or the type of person that takes that jealousy and coveting of such things and works hard to achieve them by respectable means. The thing about the human race is that enough is never enough. You have a great boyfriend? Well you don't have that dream job you've been chasing? Or that dream apartment you so covet? Therefore you can't possibly be happy. It's true that in the rush to find 'happiness' in things that we really don't need such as material items or stressful jobs that only seem appealing because of the salary that we in fact miss out on happiness all together. In pursuing such extras which we just 'have to have' it appears that sometimes the things we actually need take a back seat, or even worse are neglected all together.

So i can hear the ambitious among you sighing and saying 'If you don't aim high you'll never reach the stars' but the truth is, would you really be happy in the stars, or would you find yourself then wanting to visit other universes? The other thing is, each one of us is an individual and what makes one person incredibly happy, such as an expensive apartment or dream holiday may not be well suited to you as an individual.

So what is this focus on others, the comparison of ourselves to others can be both beneficial and destructive. There are many people who drive themselves through competition with other people. Nothing wrong with a little healthy competition now is there? Well no there isn't but circumstances may mean that in some ways you can never 'outdo' someone. Does that then leave you feeling like a failure even after achieving a reasonable amount? Is it not better to stop worrying about what other people are doing and concentrating on our individual needs and desires? 

The bottom line is, you could spend your whole life trying to hunt down perfection in your life. But odds are if you take a good look at it right now, you will find perfection everywhere that you just don't appreciate. At the end of the day the things we covet most, are the things we don't appreciate until they are gone. You could always go out and buy that new pair of shoes, or that great new car, but family and friends can leave your life in an instant and you can never get them back. 

As far as i'm concerned the green eyed monster can go to hell. Jealousy does nothing but make us seek fulfillment when we are already enriched. Wanting more and more and more can't be healthy right? So sit back, take it slow, enjoy the little things, and let the good times roll.

Atargatis, over and out xxx

Friday 5 July 2013

University:Anywhere but here


Whenever people ask about summer holidays for University they always say: "So you get three months for summer?" In response i nod my head and they smile back courteously. I can tell what they're thinking, they are thinking 'Three months? That's far too long!', you know what i think about this? I think they're damn right!

So when you are in High school, 3 months for summer seems like HEAVEN. However, when you are at university, your perspective on this changes a tad. For a start, all those great friends you made at uni? They now live half way across the country so forget about great nights out when its warm. That new guy or girl you fell for and have been getting attached to for a year? Yeah he's gone home to the other side of the country too, so you're left essentially bored brainless and possibly missing your university social life. The other thing is, unlike when you are in high school, at university you build a life that is far more independent from your family. You find that things that never annoyed you before when you lived at home start to grate your cheese and the inability to simply walk out of your door and have bars, clubs and pubs only a stones throw away leaves you feeling trapped in a very boring cage. Your social life at home also often seems banal to the group of crazy party animals you encounter at University. This is because people are Parent free and are more likely to fudge shizz up than they are when they have to go home to a house full of sleepy and possibly cranky parents at the end of the night.

So the thing people always say to students is... 'Why don't you get a job?'  Now that, especially in this economy is easier said than done, but i have to say landing a summer job is a fab way to keep busy and if they offer you hours at Christmas and Easter too all the better! The problem is with finding a job as a student now is that because there are so many more people looking for employment because of this recession our country has been in for what seems like forever. People who are quite overqualified are willing to take jobs such as fry cook at Mcdonalds and cashier at Asda, which when the pickings for jobs were better, would have been left to the university students. 

The other thing about coming home for the summer is that it isn't like when you come home for Christmas, because your parents will be most probably working most of the time and you somehow end up sitting alone in your house the majority of the time. It's interesting also to see the amount of people who stay in their Accommodation as long as possible at university to avoid such a thing.

I've been having this dilemma and have been thinking that the key to making the summer both productive and fly by is to undertake projects and develop skill sets you can utilise for your next year at university. Here are a few ideas to keep you entertained for the 3 long (but pleasantly warm) summer nights whilst all your friends are either at work or on summer holiday with the family!

1) Get in shape (the good weather makes evening runs more appealing)
2) Learn a new skill (Maybe knitting?)
3) Detox (lay off the drink for a while and give your liver a holiday and well deserved rest, this also means you may have to buy fewer drinks and thus pay less to get hammered come freshers)
4) Summer reading for your course (If you are really bored!)
5) Have a clean out! 
6)Get a Penpal
7) Research what societies you plan to join come summer.
8)Read my blog! (Cheeky i know, but you can't blame a girl for trying!)

Anyhoo, i have to go back to watching paint dry, so ill catch you later! Have you got any summer boredom busters you want to share? Drop me a comment!

Atargatis xxx over and out! xxx


Sunday 2 June 2013

University: Planet Library

So i have't posted in a while... but being that I've just cleaned out my flat and moved everything back a hundred miles and am STILL unpacking i'm thinking you'll understand that I've been pretty busy!

My post today is short but sweet and about a few of the oddities and awesomeness of student life. The oddity i want to discuss is the wacky and wonderful world of the University Library. The way our library operates at my university is that as you ascend up the 4 floors it gets more and more strict surrounding the issues of noise, food and other distractions such as mobile phones.  The interesting thing about the library is you always have someone who believes they are an exception to the rules that are written on only lets say... a million laminated posters that are plastered on every wall including the back of toilet doors. There will always be someone on the silent floor with their iPod on full blast making the annoying 'i may have headphones but you still have to listen to my crappy taste in music' statement. As well as the person who is chewing their gum ridiculously loudly or rustling a food wrapper on the no eating floor. As if we don't know what you're doing!

The other thing about the university library is the fact that you need a student card to get in and out. You often see some poor sod running around the desks trying to find their student card so they can leave the library, because they have misplaced it once inside and you just sigh and pity them whilst checking in a paranoid manner that you still have your ticket to freedom. The machines in the library also have a mind of their own. They make these great machines that allow you to scan all your books at once... however these rarely work as they're supposed to. You then have to take the ginormous stack of books you THINK you need to write a good essay, when actually you only end up using one line of one page out of each one, all the way downstairs only to have to go and see a librarian anyway. So you've found the books, gone and had them scanned once by a failure of a machine and once by a tutting librarian you then head for freedom... Only to have the freaking security scanner go off in some loud abusive manner and draw everyone's eyes on you.

 The library is also home to two types of people. The ones who go in a group and intend to mess around or are doing a project that has been left until the last minute. Or the individuals who have clearly been there for over 10 hours, have had little sleep, have crooked glasses and hair flying everywhere! The other thing we have to deal with when it comes to the library is overdue book fees. I mean lets be honest if you didn't return a library book in high school, you got a few angry letters, but being fair that book is still collecting dust at the back of your wardrobe isn't it? With university comes a whole new range of responsibility that we have to come up with excuses. I mean the amount of times i have been into the library and seen someone quibbling over their overdue book fees with the librarian is crazy. Just return your books on time people! I mean we even have the ability to renew books from home making avoiding these fees even easier than ever.

When it comes to money and university, sure we have a lot to answer for. Paying 9000 pounds in tuition and rarely seeing where that money goes can be entirely depressing. But it can't be said that society doesn't try to give us a break. The student card: a beautiful beacon of half priced and special offer goodness, and especially for us students. The NUS card is the one most students will go for but you should also check out what your Student ID can do for you. For example, the Mcdonalds near my university gives free cheeseburgers and Mcflurries for anyone holding student ID for the university. Combine that with the free fries you get with an NUS card and you only have to get yourself a drink to have a full meal. The other great thing provided by an NUS card is discount at the cinema which can get you a very cheap afternoon of entertainment. Student cards as well as Student bars on campus help provide cheap nights and meals out.

Hope this has wet your appetite for another week,
TTFN X
Atargatis

Thursday 16 May 2013

University: Don't stoppp the paaarrrttaayyy...EVER.

So i'm looking around recently at all the people who are stretching their ears and having just gotten my navel pierced and planning on having another tattoo done, you start to wonder how our generation is going to look when we are 90...if we make it that far. The attitude of so many people today is YOLO and i'm just like...WHUT?!?!

The people who live above me are exactly the same age as me and yet they choose to run around and scream until 4am...you get to thinking. When is it time to bite the bullet and grow the fuck up. 

It's like when we decide to go to university we are prolonging our adolescence. Those people who go straight into employment have to grow up, because if they don't they lose their job and income. But with the government paying for the majority of our living expenses, lecturers not giving a crap if we don't turn up and only needing 40% on an assignment to pass, university students often find themselves not growing up at all. In fact perhaps we are all just regressing to the year 11 state before the stress of A levels takes hold.

Now i'm not slagging off university students in any way. It just seems like university is the easier option between getting a job or continuing on to higher education sometimes. I mean i'm sure i'll regret writing this in my third year when making the blood sacrifice every student gives in order to get their dissertation finished. But for whoever says that the country's elite are in our universities. I say to them: I dare you to walk down a student clad street past 11'o clock on a Friday night without getting puked on or without having profanity yelled at you by some inebriated 'Genius' or 'Future politician'.

The other thing i find hilarious as you look around the University Gym with guys pumping iron and women running on treadmills is that the majority of these people sweating, huffing and puffing will be either drinking themselves into a stupour or getting so high they don't even remember their own names only five or six hours later. I can't help but think that when our generation is old and wrinkly we will still be going out on the lash. How old is too old to be getting high, drunk and partying til the early hours of the morning? I mean lets be honest, how many of us want to picture ourselves on a porch in a rocking chair sat next to only a bottle of tequila?

The other thing about university is...there are some people who never leave! With being able to get funding from the government for multiple degrees, masters and doctorates why not have your life aspiration to be remaining a student for all time? Who needs a career when you have a student card and the ability to hang with 'the kids' getting smashed and then going for a Maccies? 

The only thing i can say about all this is that when i see them opening a night club for the over 80's in about 50 years i'm running off beachy-head full pelt. After all, it is true, we do only live once, but at the end of the day isn't it also true that we can live for up to a hundred years? That just seems like a really long time to me. Especially with the way people behave in todays' society.

Any opinions? Drop me a line.

Atargatis, over and out xxx

Wednesday 15 May 2013

University: www.betterthanpulling.com?

So there is a lot of controversy nowadays about online dating, and after a recent experience of being signed up to one when trying to find a deployed military Pen-pal i got to thinking about what this crazy phenomenon actually is and how effective is it at helping an individual find their other half?

So we all know the stereotype for Online dating, you falling head over face for some guy you meet online only to find out he's some 50 year old balding, obese, unemployed loser who still lives with his parents. Now that's very well if you are a 50 year old, unemployed, woman living with her parents but what about if you are a young person, a student for example, looking for something serious because currently you exist in a world where the majority of people are looking for a good time and not commitment?

After looking through several profiles online it appears that the majority of young people aged between 19 and 25 on dating sites tend to be students. Now this could be purely because i was looking at the free dating services, and this could not be true of many paid services such as eHarmony and match.com but it seems as though it is far easier to take things slowly when meeting people online. Could it be true that in today's social climate we rush into things, hormones racing and  genitals lubricating before we really know someone? 

Attraction and compatibility are two very different things. But which is more important? If you are on the side of compatibility then i'd say you are probably more likely to find online dating to be effective because you are matched with people based on your interests, likes and dislikes rather than appearance. The other thing that scares the bajeezus out of people regarding online dating seems to be the fact that Photoshop is used so commonly we can never be sure whether the pictures we are seeing are honest in their representation of the person we are interested in. The last thing you want is to be interested in someone and when you finally meet in person you discover what was advertised is not actually whats in the box, and you are not attracted to the person physically at all. I suppose in that respect it depends how much stock you put in appearance over personality.

The other crazy thing about online dating is that it connects people from all across the country, sometimes even across continents if you are looking for some foreign flavour in your life. So from what i can gather, how this crazy phenomenon works is you get chatting on the website and once you are comfortable enough with said partner you can exchange phone numbers and take it from there. An ingenious friend told me that when it comes to online dating she employs the app Snapchat. This means that she can pretty much be sure that the photos she has seen are really of the person she likes because you can't really alter the pictures you send that much. This app also protects your and the other persons privacy because it means after the picture has been viewed for 10 seconds you can no longer see it. This then prevents some random person longingly viewing photos of you and your cat if you become disinterested of stop contact.

If you've ever seen the movie 'You've got mail' you know that most women are expecting romance, flowers and a great and harmoniously synchronized connection that transcends this world. Unfortunately you soon realise that the majority of people you meet online, especially young people are looking for some instant gratification. It's like you are signed up for two seconds and suddenly you have 50 messages asking for cheeky photos and its like... I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU...WHAT THE FUCK! The other problem young people have is usually getting messaged by people who are not in the age range they are looking for. The answer to this is simple, you just don't reply. I just can't help but loose a little faith in humanity when i realise that there are girls out there sending nudes to guys who they've never even met before and chatting up men who are old enough to be their Dad.

Those 3 little words that strike fear and wonder also come into play with online dating: "Shall we meet?" Meeting a potential partner can be scary and nerve racking. The other thing is what if they've come from the other side of the country and have to stay with you over night after you've discovered that you would rather spend a night with a pig in a wig? It's a difficult situation and if i knew how to navigate that one i'd tell you. All i can say is... STAY SAFE. 

The thing that made me laugh was while researching this blog i came across a notice on one of the dating sites i was looking at that said:

"Please do not exchange bank details with anyone you meet online, we cannot be held responsible for any illegal behaviour committed due to this kind of information being exchanged."

This too shook my faith in human kind to the core. I mean not being funny, but how bloody stupid do you have to be?

So what do y'all think of online dating? Yay, Nay or 'not until im 50!' Drop me a comment!

Have a magical day!
Atargatis, over and out! xxx

Tuesday 14 May 2013

University: Treat 'em mean keep 'em keen!

We're all brought up in the belief that we should treat others how we want to be treated, so when was the memo sent out that i apparently missed saying that perhaps one of the most effective ways to attract someone is to treat them as if you aren't interested at all?? Perhaps even treat them a little cruel in order to 'keep 'em keen'? We all knew the drill in Year 1,2 and 3 at school, when a boy likes a girl he punches her on the arm. But when did it start being the other way around, and when did it become standard to treat someone like crap as a way of showing affection. Have little boys stopped outgrowing the 'punching on the arm' phase? Or is it something they crave from the opposite sex as a sign you really like them back. Is it really okay to treat em mean and play harder to get than a decent pair of shoes for under a tenner? Or are we all just being mean for fear of getting hurt?

The problem with playing hard to get, is where do you draw the line between just being mean and acting like a complete bitch. With the amount of potential partners that after a short amount of time reveal themselves to be completely wrong for us how can we root out the ones that are worth our time, if we are constantly acting like we are unaffected by anyone. What ever happened to everyone being nice to each other and make as much effort as possible for the people we care about? What is so wrong about being enthusiastic about our feelings for each other and when did cynicism get so damn popular! Call me crazy, but when did we start playing all these complicated games with one another, so much so to the point that when you don't know the rules, and when sometimes you don't even know which game you are playing you end up not only losing the game, but having your feelings hurt in the process. What happened to people just telling each other honestly how they feel. Wouldn't it just be so much simpler? I mean sure sometimes we would get hurt and not always like what we hear, but it would avoid wasting time with people who weren't serious about us. This in some ways is why i prefer being friends with men, with men there is little secrecy or bitching but simply blunt honesty. Then again when we it comes to relationships, the man can be just as much to blame for playing games, so are we screwed either way?

A good friend of mine said that there is a difference between playing games and keeping our autonomy. How much of ourselves should we be giving away to our other halves? Is it okay to ignore someone for a few days to check they are still interested, or is that playing with fire if we aren't ready to learn that they just really aren't that interested. Is ignorance really bliss or is better to have all the cards on the table? I find it hard to believe that there is actually a relationship out there where not at least one person is thinking about where it is going in the long run, if there even will be a long run. I know i personally always want to know if there is a future for such a relationship, better you know before you get attached that after right?

Just a short little rant from me today, keep it clean people.

Atargatis over and out xxx

Saturday 4 May 2013

Subtitles please?

The amount of mis-communication between the sexes nowadays, you gotta ask yourself how the hell anyone ends up doing anything right. It's recently come to my attention that men and women communicate very differently. With women it's a lot of so called 'subtlety' whereby saying what we actually mean seems a foreign and somewhat stupid idea. With universities teeming with sexual relationships, first time lovers and new relationships it seems the CV writing classes would be better off replaced with a 'How to speak woman' or the much simpler class 'How to speak man.' It seems funny that i tend to choose male friends over female ones because i like how they get right to the point and don't fuck about in saying what's on their mind. However when it comes to relationships, in the mind of a woman we cannot accept that what a man says is what he actually means. A man could say 'Honey i'm not really in the mood to go out tonight, i'd rather just stay in and play World of Warcraft', and we take this to mean 'yeah i don't want to hang out with you because you drive me nuts and i hate you, you crazy bitch." It seems like a massive over exaggeration, but to a female the male counterpart should always be thinking about/wanting to spend every moment with his girl, hence the quizzical looks from men when after they have dropped this seemingly coldly logical and unintentionally hurtful bombshell they are greeted with dagger filled looks and late night phone calls filled with the questions of 'are you cheating on me?' and 'have i done something wrong?' from the woman. 

I say all this perhaps like men should know this about women by now, when the truth is we are highly unpredicatable creatures. Whereas some women won't analyse anything at all, other will spend hours obsessing over what has been said/texted. This is equally hilarious because what men say they nearly always without a shadow of a doubt mean with a conviction of 100%. So women are sitting around analysing what men say, and men are sitting around taking women at their word. You then come to the question of, why the hell aren't we just pairing up with people of our own sex, wouldn't that just be a hell of a lot easier? I ask myself this question all the time, and i honestly couldn't tell you why we bother trying to be with people who speak an almost foreign language when we have people who are from our home territories. I don't pretend to know what it is like to be in a homosexual relationship, as i have never experienced this myself, but i have to wonder, is it easier being with someone who thinks in a similar way, and not having to deal with the divide of the sexes? If it easier then being gay sounds awesome.

I then get to thinking, maybe it isn't the sexes, maybe it is us as individuals, and maybe i have simply never met someone able to communicate with me in a harmonious manner. One in which mis-translation doesn't end in arguments and the traditional and almost hilarious to use phrase 'You just don't get it do you!?' I often wonder, if it's just me, but then after looking back through history and watching Shakespeare's characters also struggle to understand and communicate with their women, you start thinking that this problem could just be about the most universal thing we've experienced.

It makes you wonder how women and men ever exist in harmony, i know there's all that ying and yang bollocks out there but honestly, the guy leaves the cap off the toothbrush and there's women looking for a bloody carving knife. Then there's women yammering on during the big game and a guys got out his hunting rifle. When you think about all the wars between religions, doesn't it seem mad that we haven't seen a war of the sexes before? I'm not talking about suffrage either, i'm talking full on tanks and guns warfare. All i can think is that the women would get a bit too caught up in what colours the tanks would be, but would be more organised, whilst the men would die from poor hygiene and too many people falling and drowning in toilets after they leave the seat up. To think that science is evolving so fast, that in a hundred years we may not even need sperm donors to conceive and that perhaps maybe we may soon be able to engineer our own sperm. Are men becoming redundant? Not even just men, with incubators that mimic the human womb and genome technology being what it is, could we one day make even women redundant?

Now don't get me wrong little men readers, i love you all very deeply, and for me you could never ever be replaced. But my point is at times the sexes want to kill one another for our differences, so how is it we ever end up living together, settling down and having babies. I suppose that's where the chemical reactions and somewhat magical mystery of love and attraction comes into it. This affection that stops us ripping the balls off of our partner, that bridges the divide created by Venus and Mars and allows us to indeed, exist in harmony (apart from the obvious disputes about toothpaste caps and toilet seats and what not).  Makes you think doesn't it? Ain't love grand!

Do you think we could ever make one of the sexes redundant? Do you find it easier to be friends with someone of the opposite sex? Do you think or know whether it is easier to be in a relationship with someone who is the same sex as you?
I'm dead curious so leave me a comment!

Atargatis,(going to find my carving knife as the toothpaste cap is off again!) Over and out! xx

Friday 3 May 2013

University: How do you break a vicious cycle?


University, especially for freshers is one of those places that induces all kinds of bad habits. The question is, when do this habits become a vicious cycle and how do we break these cycles and move forward. As any fresher (except possible law students and science students) will tell you, the first year is a bit of a doss compared to A levels. This leaves us time, to keep things tidy, create a more healthy balance between work and play, and most of all, take up hobbies and increase or better our skill sets as individuals. But then that's the thing, does anyone actually take advantage of all this free time to better themselves in the first year? Um, from my experience, not in the slightest. So many people (including myself) are happy to settle for second best or simply hanging around their flat eating super noodles, going out getting pissed, then lather, rinse repeat as needed. So how the hell do you break a vicious cycle?

It could be said that the most vicious of cycles involve relationships, when two people continue to have the same arguments, never reaching a resolution, or when an issue is resolved in theory the problematic behaviour still carries on. It's even harder to break a vicious cycle when feelings are involved and you are trying to hang on to someone, even when they are no good to you at all. Sometimes a vicious cycle will transcend a single person, in a single relationship, and the cycle will include several people. Could it be then that we should try going for someone we are in fact not attracted to or would never usually attempt a relationship with? Or are we all just stuck falling for the same type of people, with the same emotional issues and all in all, leading into the same soul shattering conclusion of pain and heartbreak over and over and over again?

I cannot accept this, and personally, as i am currently attempting to break a vicious cycle with my own relationship pattern, i cannot help but hope someone will come along and change everything, breaking it for me. But what if it isn't the other persons fault and someone else can't fix it, heaven forbid i think it, but could it be perhaps MY fault. It's a tough thing to think but sometimes when in a vicious cycle one has to ask, is this really a vicious cycle, Or just a very long sequence of shitty luck? Is it something i am doing, knowing the outcome will be the same but still attempting it anyway? I mean isn't the definition of madness doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome? It's an interesting idea to think that perhaps when having had a string of bad relationships, maybe it isn't a cycle at all, but just the way of the world. Now always leaving work until the last minute, KNOWING that it will cause panic and lower quality product, THAT'S definitely a vicious cycle, especially when one, as so many people i know, vows never to do it again, only to find themselves 3 months down the line doing an assignment that's due in the next day.

The other thing about university is whether we like it or not, it's full of people doing drugs and  drinking heavily. It's easy when you first leave home to go through the whole 'kid in a candy store' phase, but seriously people, trust me, your roommates tend to get pissed off when they repeatedly find you in a puddle of your own urine/vomit every morning. Not that i'm saying once in a while isn't to be expected, but there will always be one or two people that can't help but lose control of themselves, over and over again, despite the consequences to those around them or to detriment of their own lives. This in itself is a vicious cycle, because the more we indulge these substances the more we rely on them.

It's a well known saying 'forgive and forget' but what do you do when you are stuck in a vicious cycle with a friend? Maybe they're always cancelling to spend time with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or letting things 'slip accidentally' that you've told them in confidence. Maybe they are simply leaving the lid of the bin open creating an awful smell. How many times is too many times to forgive and forget, when do we stand up for ourselves and speak our minds, or simply just walk away? It's a well known fact that the best friendships are built on a foundation of white lies and mutual hate of the same people nowadays, but how many times is it acceptable to overlook bad behaviour when it starts being to the detriment of our own feelings?As a 'hard' person i want to say you explain the problem once and then consider cutting them out of your life if things don't change, but then again, that's a little harsh. It's true that two dots make a line not a pattern, and so surely we should give at least 3 warnings before we fly completely off the handle.

It's a sad fact that the nicest people are always the ones who get walked over the most, usually because they give so many chances and want to try everything before giving up on an individual. But it really is true nowadays that everyone should put themselves before anyone else. We have to protect ourselves, and look out for us before we can be there for anyone else.

If it's out of fear you are stuck in a cycle, maybe fear of being alone, fear of losing a friend or maybe even fear of the unknown, don't be. The only way life can get better if you are in a cycle such as the ones i have describe is to move forward and break that cycle. This life is what you make it, and is not awfully long, so what we should do above anything else is pursue happiness as if it were the last doughnut on earth, ruthlessly and without mercy to the people around us. It sounds harsh, but fuck it people, the only person who can make you happy is you. So get to it!

Any advice or thoughts on vicious cycles? You know what to do!

Atargatis, now prepping for pursuit of happiness, and possibly some food, Over and out! xx 
 

Sunday 28 April 2013

University:The birds, the bees and other crazy sex animals. (EXPLICIT)

Sex: If we aren't getting it, we are talking about it, surfing for it, shopping for it, or thinking about it. If we are getting it, we are still probably talking and thinking about it, worrying about if we are getting enough, and if what we are getting is good enough. I read an article on MSN this week that says if we are getting (or we think we are getting) more than the average amount or more than the people around us we are satisfied. Being at university I've been witness to some odd sexually related experiences, been a part of a few, and heard more stories than i can count about them. Sex seems to be something on everyone's mind, and i'm not just talking about men, the amount of Ann Summers parties ive been invited to over the term suggests just when men think that women just don't have a competitive sex drive with their own, we are turning this idea on it's head by the in fact possibly insulting notion that we aren't getting enough from our men or if we are that it isn't good enough to satisfy us with sales of vibrators, dildos and masturbation aiding lubricants flying off the shelves faster than ever. So what constitutes good sex?

The dominants of the world will tell you it's all about technique, whilst the romantics and the just plain lazy people telling you its about finding the right partner, and the atmosphere behind you. I have to say i think any two people can have good sex with enough effort put in on both sides, it's about listening to the other person and being patient and (preferably) not knackered, drunk or high.

In my opinion one of things that hinders great sex most of all is Porn. Yes it's all well and good when its just you and your hand but the standards for sex set by porn are less than desirable. I mean not being funny, but how many women actually look like those in porn? How many men have genitalia the size of new mexico? And how many women do you know that are able to orgasm 30 times and keep going without even a moments pause. Not many i shouldn't think. It's like sometimes we forget that we ourselves do not look or act like porn stars, so why are we expecting our partners to? On top of that scenarios in porn make it seem like you can invite a handy-man over to fix your sink and be boinking 30 seconds later when in reality the handy-man is probably going to be more concerned about the plumbing of your house. That's the thing about porn though, access to it over the last ten years has gotten exceedingly more and more easy, with most of the people i currently study with (particularly males) having learned most of what they know about sex, not from their parents giving them the talk about the birds and the bees, but from watching porn online.

It's a both terrifying, daunting and a little bit hilarious, but giving your kids 'the talk' really is crucial. There's always that one kid in class who thinks he's discovered like the coolest thing in the world and is running around telling everyone else about it often resulting in disbelief, especially from the girls, resulting in arguments such as: "What do you mean a baby comes out of there? You're a liar! It wouldn't fit!" and "You two hold hands! You must've had sex!" It's funny but even the smallest children are aware of sex in some way, and with the internet practically bombarding us with ads such as 'find slags to fuck in your city' and 'get a giant cock with just one blue pill.' much to our disgust we must arm the future generations with knowledge to help them achieve meaningful and healthy sexual experiences not a quick shag behind your local Maccies.

It's funny but it seems incredibly easy for both guys and girls to get sex nowadays, on a night clubbing pulling seems to be fairly simple and as long as you avoid lines such as 'Hey i want to stick it in you' or lines so cheesy they make you want to die such as 'If i could rearrange the alphabet i would put I and U together' if you find someone who is interested, odds are, sex is achievable in one to two hours (maybe less if you are lucky). University makes one night stands the social norm and people who attempt relationships in such a temporary lifestyle seem crazy. Sad truth, but there are so many blokes who i have heard using the line 'I'm at uni, i just wanna have a good time' as though a relationship is a dagger to the heart.

Here for your amusement, are some of the best copulation facts from the animal kingdom:

  • Muscovy ducks cant be raped! They have a special vaginal canal that twists so they cannot be raped.
  • A male honeybees penis gets destroyed after sex
  • The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this, the male uses his penis to DRILL A VAGINA into the female.
  • An elephants penis is so large it is used as an extra support, AKA a fifth leg.
  • An insect known as the water boatman can make loud noises with it's genitals
  • There is a species of lizard that is entirely female
  • An Argonaut is a type of octopus that has a detachable penis.
  • A species of spider breaks off its own penis to avoid being eaten by the female.


So what do you guys think about sex? Any funny stories to tell? Did your parents give you the talk? If not how did you learn?

Keep it real homies!

Atargatis over and out xx


Thursday 25 April 2013

Shut up and drive

 Drive: ive been thinking about it alot this week, what does it mean if you have it? Where does it come from? Have our generation lost it? And how can you get it if you want it but don't have it? It's highly amusing to me the amount of people who bitch about their current situation when they actually have the means to change it. Moaning you don't have money because you can't get a job? Do work experience! Volunteer! Do as much as you can to pump up your CV and stop sitting on the sofa bitching about how unfair the employment system is today. 

It's funny because in high school it is very clear looking back that the girls in class (Well most anyway) have much more motivation to do work than the males. You gotta wonder if its the fact that blokes dont develop the consequence part of their brain until around the age of 20-22 that they don't think: "Shit if i don't do this piece of work i'm gonna fail, not be able to get my GCSE's and not be able to get a good job" it's more along the lines of " If i don't do this piece of work right now i can play on World of Warcraft/FIFA/Watch Youtube videos all day." Suddenly the prospect of doing that piece of that work no longer looks like a stepping stone to something greater, but the shitty option against the million of probably pointless but more enjoyable tasks you could be undertaking. 

Now i'm not saying that guys are some lazy opposite to women, and that women are all motivated and hard working all the time because that would be a huge LIE. But it can be said that men are a heck of a lot more laid back about the future leading to a considerable lack in drive. The amount of men i know who are so laid back they are literally horizontal about allowing things to work out in their own way in their own time is startling. I have noticed that women are alot more organised and plan ahead. You've got to wonder if this roots back to the fact that cave women had to juggle a million things, kids, cooking, cleaning, keeping the caveman husband happy. Whereas cavemen were very single minded, could this be because worrying about a million things at once plus the future is going to lead to some woolly mammoth or saber toothed tiger biting your head off as you stop and contemplate what cave party to attend next week? It is as though just as women have better peripheral vision than men, men have better focus on whats in front of them and have a one track mind, meaning seeing potential complications in the future is diminished as the focus on one task, or even one day at a time.

Drive to succeed is also born, as many people will tell you, from a love of what you are doing. If you really want to be a successful writer, you will sit down and write. If you want to be an elite gymnast you will sacrifice and train, and none of this happens without motivation. A love of success and a passion for what you are doing helps. If you find yourself lacking motivation, perhaps the question shouldn't be how can i get motivated, but rather, why aren't i motivated about this in the first place? Some people just have it, that determination and drive that leads them to whatever they desire (within reason) but maybe drive is something we can learn through trial and error. In everyday life, we have to do things we don't want to do, the dishes, laundry, visiting awful relatives, but at the end of the day you can look at it two ways:

1) I can get this shit done and then forget about it as soon as possible, thus gaining the freedom to do what i choose sooner.
2) I can ignore the fact that i have shit to do and wait until the last possible second thus inducing a mini heart attack and causing the shit i have to do to be rushed and probably less than good quality, even though i get to do what i want to do in the short term.

I cant help but wonder if the reason our generation is seemingly so whiny and lack motivation is because we probably have the most distractions available to us than any generation that has gone before. I mean when my Nan was a kid the most entertaining thing she could think of to do with her afternoon was to knit or play 'Ball in a cup'. I mean hell compared to that i'd rather do work. It's the world as we know it today that can be blamed for the poor attitudes and drive in it's young people, you can't give your child a phone with access to the internet, Facebook, all their other phone owning friends and twitter and expect them to sit with it idle on the table doing their homework. Of course they are going to watch a video on Youtube of some knit-wit skateboarding down some steep stairs and ripping their nut sack open, that's just bloody human nature.

I suppose all in all it comes down to how much you want stuff and how immediate the result of your hard work is, i think we find it hard to comprehend how actions we execute now will affect us in 3 years, especially when we see others around us putting in no work and getting everything we are expected to work for. You know the guy i mean, the one who waltzes into the final exam having attended none of the classes, done none of the revision and waltzes right on out again with above 90% and a ticket to Cambridge university. Seriously how annoying is that guy?!?!?!?

 There comes a time when we must all grow up and realise nothing in this world comes free, even if it doesn't require money, effort will be the preferred payment. Being a young person today has so many more distractions than it has ever had before, but we need to all knuckle down and start looking to the future. I mean after all the fuss made by people that think they can run the country better than Maggie Thatcher, you would think that they would fear the future of politics even more. Honestly, who wants a PM that's going to blow off meetings with Korea to play Call of Duty?

What do you think about drive today? Is it the most important key to success or is there another ingredient to the recipe?
Atargatis, over and out xxx

Thursday 18 April 2013

University: Return of the boxes!

As the Easter holidays draw to a close i begin to re-pack my life back into the many boxes that journey between my home and University as i have done many times before. It is an interesting journey that of a university student, one filled with highs and lows and above all else life lessons. It appears every time i return from university it i bring back more than i went with, and not just material objects either, i'm talking about life experience. University isn't right for everyone, and at one time, i didn't think it was the right place for me, but as i have moved through the terms i have realised that the more independence university gives me the stronger and more able i become. It's a big decision to make, moving away from home and away from everyone and everywhere that you are familiar with, but if the fear of the unknown is whats stopping you, then put that to rest, because for all you know the unknown could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

It's true what they say about the university year, the first term, everybody has so much energy: going out partying and getting wasted every night, making the effort to join societies and sports teams, go to the gym, making it to lectures seem so easy. It's the 'second term slump' thats the bitch! When you come back after Christmas, the honeymoon period with your flatmates is over and everyone gets on each others nerves more, everybody has pretty much steam rollered through the money they had saved for the first term, the weather is usually crappy, exams seem to never end during the first few weeks of January and lectures at 9am seem less and less appealing as the weeks go by! It's hard to keep it going, especially when everybody is seemingly alot more settled and less up for going out every night. It's as interesting phenomenon, but not one that can't be beaten, for me i used this time to broaden my skill set, i started a blog, learned some new recipes and broadened my friendship group by reconnecting with some old friends from high-school that i hadn't been in touch with too much, but went to the same university as me! I also made a bigger effort with people back home, its easy to forget, but those people who choose not to go to university and rather stay home and work lose a whole set of friends as university goers disperse across the country.

The third term, the one which i am about to start, is a funny one, not filled with lectures, but rather exams that for me are few, and assignment deadlines. Also this term is only 4-5 weeks in length, which makes going back at all seem at times, pointless. I plan to make the best of this by making the most of the nice weather and trying to discover some outdoorsy stuff to do around the city, also it can't hurt to start on the reading list for next year, being prepared is never a bad thing.

So enough rambling from me about the layout of a year at Uni and here for your enjoyment are the Top ten life lessons i have learned while being at university.
1) Don't piss off the people who live above you, they can make your life a living hell!
2) Talking about a problem to someones face is always better than bitching about it.
3) Old friends can be the best!
4)Never drink and then try to use the stove
5) When buying heavy stuff for your flat (e.g toaster) go as a group so one person doesn't get lumbered carrying it!
6) Never put eggs in a carrier bag with heavy stuff!
7) Never mouth off to the security in halls (especially during a fire drill)
8)When on a night out, nobody gets left alone!
9)Always party like there's no tomorrow.
10) the only person who can make you really happy is you, so get out and do as much as you can!

What life lessons do you wish you could have passed on to yourself when you were younger? What did you learn by going to university? Drop a comment and let me know!
Atargatis, over and out! xxx

Sunday 14 April 2013

Fifty shades of 'what is this?'



So in this modern day we are no longer simply single or in a relationship, as E.L James suggests, there are not only 50 shades to people but also to the relationship dynamic these days. I mean even Facebook offers the 'open relationship' and 'its complicated' as a legitimate relationship status, is it any wonder we are all waking around asking the terrifying questions 'what is this?' And 'where is this going'? It seems crazy but in a fast paced world full of drunken one night stands and easy to come by sex is it becoming even more vital to protect yourself and establish the rules early on? 

But how early is too early? If you've been having feelings for someone for just a few weeks is it too soon to ask questions that can put so much pressure on an individual? On one hand you don't want it to be so soon that is scares the crap out of your potential partner and sends them running for the hills, but on the other you don't want to wait too long only to discover that significant other you've been pining for has been sleeping with every random drunken stranger they happen to stumble across.

How people feel about the definition of relationships today is dramatically different than it would have been 50 years ago with relationship types ranging from fully committed all the way down to fuck buddy. The way people feel about defining relationships varies hugely too, with some guys wanting to make it official after just one week of intense texting to men and women still happy with a casual set up after over a year. It's my opinion that a one month period is long enough to establish where things are going if anywhere but like I said, I've been with people that disagree with me on this amount of time and are ready to run for the door after any hint of a commitment being necessary.

It's a hard but very true fact that if your hearing the 'i'm not really looking for anything' or the 'i don't know what i want' lines then usually the furthest that relationship will go will be a casual one. It's a common problem that an individual believes that they are the exception to the rule, when in fact if someone doesn't want or isn't ready for a relationship it perhaps doesn't matter how perfect you seem for each other, it just wont work. The thing about relationships is if one of you is always doing most of the work, making most of the effort or sending the first text it usually won't work either. I mean if one person was supposed to make all the effort, we would all be perfectly content being single our whole lives. It's also easy to get too attached nowadays, with the growing number of categories for a relationship to fall into meaning that hurt is perhaps not more inevitable but far more likely. The thing is, communication with these issues is key, without establishing whats going on early, and having rules in place you can end up wasting large stretches of time either in denial, or deluded as to the true nature of what is going on in the head of the other person. It's easy to analyse and analyse, but until you've actually heard something from the horses mouth, nothing swimming around in your hormone ridden psyche should be taken as fact.

Has this ruined any true notion of romance for us now? With courting 50 years ago having an inevitable and clearly defined finish line and goal, does the wide variety of relationship types now ruin the journey of getting to know someone. On the contrary, i believe it makes it all the more exciting, and with less social stigma on being in a committed relationship and marriage, we know that when someone decides to make that commitment, it is what they truly want, and not what they assume they should do next.

It has also come to my attention that people put incredible amounts of pressure on themselves to ask these questions, when perhaps this leads to paranoia which can cause more problems than good. If someone is devouring your every thought and you are dropping the majority of your single life to spend pretty much all of your time with them be sure that you both understand that you have the freedom to be your own person and that time apart doesn't mean you aren't close. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you become one person, and as usual i give the old advice, don't drop your friends, where a guy may not always be there, friendship will.

So whats your favourite type of relationship? Or do you just prefer being single? How long is too long to wait to ask the important questions about defining a relationship in your opinion?
Drop me a comment!
Atargatis over and out! xxx


Wednesday 10 April 2013

7

So i was watching the horror film Seven the other night and it got me to thinking how much ideology is connected with this seemingly irrelevant number. According to creationists god created the world in seven days, because of this there are seven days in a week, so the number in religion seems to have some mystical quality. I then got to thinking about the seven deadly sins: Wrath, sloth, gluttony, lust, envy, vanity and pride. It's an interesting concept that perhaps the majority of evil in the world comes down to these simple seven behaviours or attitudes. I mean i would find it hard to think of a dictator in history that hasn't been greedy and overflowing with pride. It then begs the question that if we only have to watch these seven problem areas why are more and more people not listening to the bible, the very book that introduced this concept, in order to guarantee a full life and perhaps an even more satisfying afterlife? I heard this fantastic quote the other day and it went a little something like this:

"I'm a christian, and if i'm wrong and there is no afterlife, nothing is going to happen to me. But you? You're an atheist, and what if you're wrong?"

Now before any people with a serious faith start thinking i too share the same faith, i don't. I am an atheist, but i do respect all faiths and those people who choose to live their lives by the guidelines they include and I've been thinking recently that what if all the atheists in the world are wrong? What if we all soon find ourselves in one Dante's seven circles of hell? You don't have to be extremely religious to be a good person and live your life by the rules set down by said Bible even if you don't believe in God. 

Now another fantastic fact linked to the number seven is that we are connected to every person on the planet by seven people or less. Isn't it a wonderful notion that I am somehow connected by a friend of a friend of a friend to President Obama or even perhaps the crazy Lady Gaga? I can't believe how small the world must seem to the older generations who grew up without even a phone in their home, it also makes you think, if i'm connected to all these people i see on TV, how many weird and wonderful people am i connected to that i don't know exist. It is a wonderful idea that my future husband, or boss could be only a friend of a friend away.

7 is such a fantastic number, Seven ancient wonders of the world, which interestingly enough according to a documentary about what would happen if all human life suddenly disappeared from the earth, would be the last signs that we existed, standing approximately another 2000 years with no maintenance, the last of which to fall being the great pyramids. There are 7 continents on the earth, seven colours in the rainbow, seven basic musical notes, a ladybug commonly most commonly has seven spots, there are seven rows in the periodic table and finally the neutral value required to sustain life on earth is also... you guessed it...7!

Just a cutesy little post to get me back into the swing of things as it's been while since ive been busy being back home an' all! Anyone got any more fun facts about the number seven? 
Atargatis over and out xxx

Tuesday 2 April 2013

The black mirror of paranoia.

So its the first post I've done in nearly a week since coming home from university, ive been watching this fantastic series called 'Black mirror' which has really gotten me thinking about technology and the way it affects relationships. With sexting, online dating and long distance relationships all being enabled by technology what affect is this seemingly fantastic facility that is making the world smaller and smaller by the day really doing for our relationships?

Since the first steps in the development of the internet we all cling to today, we have been getting closer to those we love, with physical distance seeming smaller when they are simply an email, Facebook message or tweet away. It is an amazing thing, how many times i go into restaurants today and see a family with at least two members totally absorbed in their phones and neglecting actual conversation. It is also an interesting phenomenon in how relationships move 10 times faster than they would have 50 years ago. With not having to wait until the 'next date' to talk, we just text! So between physically seeing one another, we can gain more knowledge about the other person in a much shorter space of time, with conversations spanning several days that would of been spread over 4 or 5 dates spanning several weeks. 

So this all sounds great right? Well, it is, but it's like in an episode of black mirror where they can play back their memories. It means we can look back over conversations we have had and analyse which speaking as a female, is so often done too much. Plus we have the whole 'seen' phenomenon whereby we are notified when someone has 'seen' the message we have sent, this leads to a growing paranoia breeding questions such as 'Why hasn't he replied if he's seen my message?', 'Could he be talking to other girls instead of replying to me?', 'Did i say something wrong?'. Its a snowball of fears and doubts that are all started by this one little word 'Seen'. It's interesting as well the amount of anger it can breed, as if replying to Facebook messages is all people actually do in their lives. It's like with instant messaging we expect the replies to be actually that, 'instant'. For me i give up to 12 hours for a reply, and i am rarely disappointed,  after that, I'm assuming i'm being ignored. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if there were some online etiquette handbook to put all these fears to rest would it?

The internet sure is great though, i mean we can now also hear about everyone's relationships as if we were actually stood in the room in which they are screaming at each other from. It makes me laugh how people really do pour all their ins and outs onto Facebook, which can in the long run be somewhat more harmful to a relationship than good for them. It only takes a few minutes for a current girlfriend to surf a boyfriends Facebook wall and find statuses from only 6 months before saying about how 'in love' he and his ex were. It is of course fine as it is understandable that everyone has a past, but doesn't always leave YOU with the best feeling.

It is a minefield, it's like we have access to all this information now and all i want to do is scream 'PUT ME BACK IN THE DARK' sometimes! It can be far more self destructive looking through someones Facebook who you are currently dating only to find a stream of photos of him and like 50 different girls that have gone before you. They say you determine someones attractiveness within 7 seconds of meeting them, but how long does it take to write someone off after judging them on some online material? If truth be told, i tend not to Facebook friend people i'm seeing to prevent such upsets and questions in early days. The person i am in fact currently seeing and I have a rule that he won't read my blog. We both agree that what he thinks of my material shouldn't interfere with what we think of each other, and it works. I get to write what i want without worrying about what he thinks, and he doesn't have to read, and be possibly terrified by my opinions!

Anyway, a little food for thought people!
Do any of you have relationships rules for communication online? Anyone had a relationship ruined by online antics? Anyone experienced that paranoia over 'seen messages' not being replied to? Drop me a comment peoples!

Atargatis, Over and Out! xxx